Proximity..the low-maintenance friendship..the easy way out?

Isn’t it funny how close you can be with someone and then life, circumstance, or something changes that? Or maybe I’m just a bad friend..I don’t pretend to be really good at it. I’ve even been told before that I’m “not a good friend.” That kinda stinks to hear. But I understand. I’m a low-maintenance friendship guy. I like low drama. And in my current stage of life, it’s hard to get out and do much of anything with anybody. And some people can read that as indifference, or worse, unfriendly.

But I am a big proponent of close friendships. For me, they’ve usually been with people that I’m naturally around all the time. So, more often than not, it has been co-workers or small group members. And those folks can ebb and flow depending on the season of life and my proximity to them.

  • during the school-phase it was classmates
  • during the sports-phase it was team-mates
  • during the college-year it was dorm-mates (yes I said year not years)
  • during the music-years it was band-mates
  • during the party-years it was folks at the parties
  • during the working-years it has been co-workers

I still keep up with folks from all of those time periods..but it’s just harder when you don’t see them all the time. I hate that, because many of those people are still near and dear to my heart..and I would call them a friend to this day.

But the level of friendship we see in 1 Samuel 20 between Jonathan and David is touching. It is so refreshing to read of two men who care so deeply for one another that they make pacts together, embrace each other, weep together, and share deeply and transparently with each other. THIS kind of bond is hard to find and even harder to maintain for a long time.

1 Samuel 20 sounds like a script for a TV hate. And when Jonathan and David part ways, it is quite the tear-jerker. The circumstances and stage of life forces them to say their good-byes.

Good friends are hard to find..and even harder to keep.. you..I’m thankful for the close friends in my life right now..and for the ones in my past that help mold me and make me into who I am today.

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  • Andrea Hayes

    The friendship between David and Jonathon went well beyond a close friendship. It’s what Anne of Green Gables describes as a “kindred spirit.” someone who just “gets you” to the core without little effort. Someone who loves you on your worst days. If we are lucky enough to find 1 or 2 people like that on a lifetime, then we are truly blessed. I have had 2 or 3 women in my life where our friendship went beyond the boundaries of life circumstances, proximity and time. They are everlasting and maintain the deepest level of honesty and trust. It seems strange to just call those relationships “friendships” in my vocabulary. I’ll stick with kindred spirits instead.

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