Job Description: Parent

Parenting is no easy task. As a matter of fact, it is probably the hardest job I’ve ever had. There is no easy way. It is not something you mark off the list and move on to something else. It is a life-long, life-altering commitment. Now don’t get me wrong..it is rewarding..amazingly rewarding. And I’ve learned so much about my heavenly father since becoming a father. But it doesn’t change the fact..parenting is a hard job.

I had a friend send me this job description for a parent..I felt like it was share-worthy..enjoy.

Job Description: PARENT

Position: Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma / Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
Job Description: Long-term team players needed for challenging, permanent work in an often-chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24-hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

Responsibilities: Must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets, and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars, and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs five dollars. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute and embarrassed the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.

Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

Possibility for Advancement and Promotion: None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

Term of Service: The rest of your life.

Previous Experience: None required. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

Wages and Compensation: Get this—you pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn eighteen, because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could do more.

Benefits: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays, and no stock options are offered, this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life, if you play your cards right.

“Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them.” Psalm 127:5

Sounds perfect, huh!?!

What would you add?

(this excerpt came from a newsletter called House to House Heart to Heart..download a copy here)

For more of my musings on parenting, check out Observations About the Father..After Becoming a Father & My Kids Will Never Love Me Like I Love Them.

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  • Mom

    The best job I ever had!

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