a crisis of belief..

I think I have come to a crisis of belief..I believe that God is calling me to write more, yet my circumstances and time commitments don’t allow for that freedom..or is it bondage?

I receive encouraging words about my writing from time to time, and that does help me to press on. (As a matter of fact, today’s blog is completely birthed from an amazingly reassuring yet immensely challenging email from a dear friend who shares his insights about life, music, religion/revolution at Random Thoughts from the Revolution.)

But I am compelled to write, not for an audience mind you, but for therapy. Getting all these floating thoughts out on a page helps me make sense of what I’m feeling and helps me maintain my sanity (what’s left of it.) During the past two weeks the ‘tyranny of the urgent,’ that wench!, encamped around my life and drove me to tasks and to-do lists. She flanked her troops on both the left side of me with my work calendar and on the right side of me with my ministry and family calendar and left me surrounded with a feeling of entrapment. Life gets in the way for sure. And life is good..please don’t misunderstand me. All of the things listed above are life-“givers” for me, not the opposite. I thrive in the bustle of work and the forward progress of my daughters’ lives. I love taking Anna Beth to ballet rehearsal and our “daddy/daughter” time afterward at Scoops and Chick-Fil-A. I love my small group and our new Andy Stanley curriculum, Twisting the Truth. I love watching American Idol (guilty pleasure) with my beautiful bride (however, I could use a little more time dating her..but we’re working on that). BUT if I don’t take time to sort through the swirling thoughts, take a moment to mentally file them into their neat little folders with their neat little printed labels..then my life becomes maddening. You can’t allow an OCDer to let all their random thoughts and brainstorms collide with one another..this mental chaos will shut them down. They become quiet and aloof. They take every spare second to try and organize their brain so that life can make sense again.

So, I must write. For my sanity. I believe God has wired me this way and wants to see me flex my mental muscle as I sort through my thoughts for whomever to see.

When God invites you to join Him in His work, He has a God-sized assignment for you. You will quickly realize you cannot do what He is asking on your own. If God doesn’t help you, you will fail. This is the crisis of belief when you must decide whether to believe God for what He wants to do through you. At this point many people decide not to follow what they sense God is leading them to do. Then they wonder why they do not experience God’s presence and activity the way other Christians do.

The word crisis comes from a Greek word that means decision or judgment. A crisis of belief is not a calamity in your life but a turning point where you must make a decision. You must decide what you truly believe about God. The way you respond at this turning point will determine whether you become involved with God in something God-sized that only He can do or whether you will continue to go your own way and miss what He has purposed for your life. This is not a one-time experience. It is a regular occurrence. The way you live your life is a testimony to what you believe about God. (Experiencing God, Henry Blackaby)

So if God is calling me to write..He will inspire..He will help me find the time..He will provide.

What is causing your crisis of belief right now?

Are you feeling led:

  • to change job fields?
  • to have a hard conversation with somebody?
  • to spend more quality time loving and modeling the Christian life to your children?
  • to change churches?
  • to start a new ministry?
  • to take a mission trip?
  • to adopt a child?

What is God calling you to do, that you cannot do on your own?

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  • Very nice! This makes me happy. I’m so glad to see you back in the land of the blogging.

  • Sonya Hopper

    Enjoyed reading your post this morning…I “laughed out loud” at our similarities. Although our common bond may not be evident to the outside world, our minds seem to be on the same rollercoaster. Often times for me, I choose to manage my schedule rather than allowing the Holy Spirit to direct my day; specifically, the things I say yes to and the things I say no to. I have to remind myself that He is quite capable of handling all the stuff I face each day. Then, I have to surrender to HIS guidance. Whew! Easier said than done. Fun times, for sure. Happy writing, my friend!

    By the way, I hate “tyranny of the urgent” as well…the wench, again lol!

    • I’m glad to know I’m not alone in the battle against the tyrannical wench, Ms. Teux Deux.

      And I try to keep telling myself that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. (Matthew 11:30) Therefore if I become stressed out then I’m the one to blame..He doesn’t want that for me. He promised it wouldn’t be that way if He were in control.

      (breathe)

      Now that sounds like a promise I need to cling to.

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