A Father’s Response to His Child’s Pain

Last Friday I had the curse of holding my children’s arms down while the nurse administered shots into their thighs.

I had to pin their sweet little arms down against the cold examining table that is covered with that loud thin paper-y stuff. Then I had to look through the biggest tears in those radiant blue eyes into a soul that was crying out:

  • “Daddy, don’t let them hurt me!!!!”
  • “Daddy, why are you allowing this!!!!’
  • “Daddy, please STOP THEM!!!!!”

It is painful to type this even now. But I wouldn’t relive this moment unless I thought it had deeper spiritual meaning. Here are some things I think are true of the father/child relationship as it pertains to pain:

  • It pains a father to watch his child in pain.
  • It pains a father even more to restrain his child and allow the pain.
  • It pains a father to give approval for the impending pain.
  • A child only feels and experiences the pain. They do not understand it. They can’t. The pain is too fresh and they are too young.
  • A child feels emotional hurt when the father allows physical hurt.
  • A child will blame their father for the pain. After all, he stood there and watched. He approved it.
  • A child will still run and cling to their father after the event. They realize he can be trusted. They find comfort in his arms.

And the father’s response:

  • A true father quickly scoops up his child in pain and reassures them that they will be ok.
  • A compassionate father may even cry with his child. For he hurts, too. He does not enjoy the pain. He wishes he could take it all away or endure it for them.
  • A loving father understands that the immediate pain is necessary but minimal in relation to what the future pain could bring if action is not taken now.

Your thoughts:

Is this true of your father?

What did I miss?

Have you experienced pain, resented the Father, only later in life to realize what the pain was preventing you from even greater pain? Would you like to share your story with us?

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  • As a father with older children, i stand amazed at how much my children DON’T remember both good and bad But especially the BAD stuff. I feel like our Father in heaven allows us to forget the BAD things so that we can focus on the GOOD but as a parent i remember the bad and am able to remind them of the BAD stuff what happened to them when the were smaller.Some things like shots we have to do for them and it breaks our hearts but we know it is for the best and when they get older telling them ‘NO’ sometimes breaks our hearts but we remember the BAD things that could happen that they just dont understand. As a christian i know realize that my Father in Heaven says NO to me sometimes and it use to make me mad like JONAH but i NOW realize HE is a ALL KNOWING GOD and i must trust him. I feel our children trust us in the same way even thought they too dont understand.

  • Great post. But, why stop here. Did the Father feel pain for His Son while He died there on the cross. Sure He did. It’s too easy to disconnect the relationship between the Father and the Son, Jesus. We need to understand their relationship to comprehend the magnitude of the sacrifice. Good stuff, Trey.

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