confessions of an obsessive-compulsive

runny noseLast Friday I was convinced that I needed to get a flu shot (rather, someone CONVINCED me to go get a flu shot..thanks ‘Londa.)

I went to my local health department.

I took my number and took my seat, comfortably far enough from people not to contract whatever disease they had and not too far away that they might perceive me as “snobby.”

Not three minutes later a young mother comes in and plops down one chair over. Her two year old climbs into the chair directly next to me.

He looks to have a cold, complete with runny nose. His fingers implanted in his mouth.

I smile silently and continue to act engaged in Dora the Explorer (I guess I sat on the kid’s side) hoping to avoid any uncomfortable contact (I know, real Christ-like, huh?)

The child begins to rub my arm. Yes, with the slobbery hand from his mucus-infested mouth. This doesn’t hurt physically but it is killing me mentally and emotionally. I don’t like when my own child touches me with “dirty” hands. I know, I know..I have issues. But this kid doesn’t know me. The mom is not stopping him. He continues to rub my arm hair as if he’s never seen or felt a grown man’s arm hair before  (which may be truth.) UGH, now the conviction sets in. I try to engage the child. Speaking to him alone makes him grin from ear to ear. He is a child who is craving attention and love. And lucky me, I am there. It is a struggle for me to do the right thing. I know what is right, but it is often out of my comfort zone.

I like comfort.

I like certainty.

I like easy.

But God doesn’t really call me to any of those, does He?

  • It is hard to be patient when you can’t control your situation.
  • It is hard to be calm when you’re certain you’re receiving the worst end of the deal.
  • It is hard to sit quietly (or worse..actually engage in some sort of correspondence) when you feel utterly uncomfortable.

These are my struggles..yet, God calls me to “the least of these” “love the unlovely”..

I do not always “feel” like I have power to control my situations and surroundings, my responses and my reactions, the people around me and what they may say..and in fact..I DON’T have the power.

I need God. Plain and simple. I need God.

Do you need God?

Are you playing God?

It is very tiring trying to play God..I’m going to give Him a go at it for a while.

I need Him to be God..He’s much better at it.

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  • This is a complete fabrication. Someone has highjacked your blog. So let me get this right. You actually sat there while being pet by a sick child wielding slobbery hands while pretending to enjoy Dora. I am not sure where to begin. I guess I will just say it…Trey…your an oak.

    • What!?! I like the way Dora screams every word she speaks. And there’s nothing better than a pet monkey named Boots and a singing map. Sorry to disappoint, Keith. It’s me. Maybe my OCD is getting better with all this natural treatment that God keeps doling out.

  • debi jackson

    Agree with Chris- a powerful real life lesson. Thank you for sharing this.

  • That’s a really powerful–and poignant–real-life lesson. Thanks for being courageous enough to share it!

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